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The Waiting Room

~ Chapter One Hundred-Seven


No Hot Water


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Jack was dumbfounded by what had just occurred, and could not believe it had been real.

“Somebody hit me,” Jack requested.

Immediately Wilmot struck the back of the pirate’s head with his cane. Jack’s hand shot up as he spun to face his attacker.

“Bloody ‘ell! Why d’ja do that fer?” Jack rubbed his head.

“It was your request, pirate.” Wilmot reminded him.

“It was what they call being rhetorical. I didn’t mean for ye to strike out fer real, you arse!” Jack could feel a lump rising beneath his scalp. The feel of it reminding him of the walnuts. “Do it again and I’ll use me one shot on ye!”

Wilmot rolled his eyes. “I have no need for idle threats. I shall retreat to the other room as I seem to be unappreciated here. L'inconnu? He gestured indicating for the Frenchman to join him. L'inconnu followed, leaving Toby and Jack alone.

“Bloody idiot.” Jack spat. “Be sure, he’ll not strike me again. And the other, what’s his name? Incontinence?”

“L'inconnu,” Toby corrected him.

“Whatever. He’s nothing but a Mort Rainey from Frenchland. Ever notice how they could have been twins? Mother probably took one look at ‘em both and went screaming from the room. Can’t blame the poor woman now, could we? No, of course not.”

Toby stayed silent, letting the pirate ramble.

Jack returned to the cupboard, yanking open the door. Nothing had changed. Bananas. Spices. Nothing different. No signs of where the maniac squirrels had disappeared. It made him think of Sands, of how he claimed a person had been in the kitchen with him, a small person, a child perhaps, and there had been the sound of the cupboard opening and closing and then silence.

With renewed determination, Jack pulled the staples from the shelves, tossing them to the counters, even allowing a banana to fall to the floor. But he was on a mission and ignored the fruit, even when he stepped on it, squishing it beneath his boot. He began to pull on the shelves and when Toby realized what the pirate was doing, joined him.

Between the two of them they emptied the cupboard in under five minutes. Jack then took a bold step…right up into the inside of the cupboard. It was a large one, large and tall enough for him to stand upright. With his fists he began to pound on the sides and then the back, but there were no signs of a secret doorway, no indication that there was a way in or out.

“Something’s going on here. Something strange.” Jack pondered as he placed an ear to the back of the cupboard, trying to listen for clues, any sounds…anything at all.

“No s--t, Sherlock,” Toby shot back.

“Sherlock?” Jack glanced out to Toby. “No, no…Sparrow, the name’s Sparrow.”

“It’s a saying for God’s sake, you idiot. You know...Sherlock...Sherlock Holmes...great detective?”

Jack gave the businessman a confused look. “Don’t have a clue mate…and frankly, don’t want one. I just want to know why all of a sudden little creatures..human and furry…are coming and going yet we remain.”

Just then the kitchen door swung forward and Wilmot stuck his head in, looking for Toby, giving Jack a cautionary eye.

“Excuse me, Mr .Grosini. But I must say, it is time for tea. Would you do the honors today as L’inconnu did them yesterday?”

“Yes, of course, Lord Rochester. I’ll get it ready.”

Wilmot left. After he was gone, Jack jumped down out of the cupboard and watched as Grosini picked up the teakettle from the stove and made his way to the sink.

“Could ye be so kind as to make me a spot of tea?” Jack said in his most condescending voice, imitating His Lordship. “I do fancy some tea, sir. Please sir, more sir,…well why don’t you bloody make him do it himself?” Jack asked with an angered tone.

Grosini paused at the sink, his hand on the faucet knob. He looked back at the pirate.

“Because I am trying to make the best of a bad situation. It’s not the worse situation, mind you. That has already happened to me. That’s why I got that ass out there, why I am in a shawl, a poncho, whatever the hell you want to call it, soaked to the bone every morning I wake up. I ache, I’m tired, and I just want to get through the day without much of a bother. Just have a nice, relaxing cup of tea.”

Grosini flipped the knob forward, his eyes still on Sparrow as he waited for him to respond.

“Well, mate, looks like ye not going to be having that cup of tea,” Jack said nodding towards the sink.

“What?” Grosini turned to see to what Jack referred. His jaw dropped he realized brown water was coming from the faucet.

No, wait, he thought, it was too thick for water. He reached over touching it with a finger. He then brought it up to his nose and sniffed. Then when he was quite positive it was safe, he tasted it.

“Chocolate? There’s freaking chocolate coming out of the kitchen sink,” he said.

Just then Wilmot entered the kitchen, hearing Grosini.

“Well, my good man. If you think that is bad, you should go check out the privy!”



 

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